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Books by Quantum Muse contributors and friends.
A Felony of Birds

by Harris Tobias
The Greer Agency

by Harris Tobias
Assisted

by Harris Tobias
Hold The Anchovies

by Harris Tobias
Alien Fruit

by Harris Tobias
Peaceful Intent--Stories of human/Alien Interaction

by Harris Tobias
CHRONON--Time Travel

by Harris Tobias
The Stang

by Harris Tobias


Blang!

by Harris Tobias


Blang! God damn this ground is hard. Itís like steel. The damn pick just bounces off the permafrost? Itís like steel, I tell you.

Blang! You hear that? Steel. You try digging in frigging permafrost. No one can.

Blang! And here it is freaking Christmas Eve. What the hell am I doing working on Christmas eve, anyway?                              

Blang! At this rate it will take a week to dig the grave. just look at the size of that guy, will you? Just my luck to have to bury a giant fatty.

Blang! Thereís got to be a better way. I wish I had some dynamite or some of that High Explosive crap we use. That would make short work of this job. Yeah, dream on. Like anyone cares about making my job easier.

Blang!  Who test fires a missile on Christmas eve anyway? What, they donít have anything better to do? Donít they have families? Sure they have families. Theyíre home with their families right now decorating the tree and drinking freaking egg nog while Iím out here freezing my ass off burying some fat guy. Itís so not fair.

Blang! Will you look at that hole? Iíve been banging away for almost an hour and I couldnít bury a frigging tea cup. Damn this ground is hard.

Blang! Well, I guess things could be worse. They can always be worse, right? Never better, only worse.

Blang!

Blang! Phewwww. Man this is hot work. Look at that poor schmuck. Dead. Dead as a doorknob. What the hell was he doing out on a night like this anyway? Flying around in restricted airspace is asking for trouble.

Blang! Well it could have been worse. At least I donít have to bury the freaking reindeer.


2011-12-19 13:23:45
honestly, I just sent it to my co-workers, it's just that funny. Michele Dutcher

2011-12-19 13:20:57
God bless you, Tobias - whichever god you follow. This story is exactly what I needed 5 days before xmas.


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Books by Quantum Muse contributors and friends.
A Felony of Birds

by Harris Tobias
The Greer Agency

by Harris Tobias
Assisted

by Harris Tobias
Hold The Anchovies

by Harris Tobias
Alien Fruit

by Harris Tobias
Peaceful Intent--Stories of human/Alien Interaction

by Harris Tobias
CHRONON--Time Travel

by Harris Tobias
The Stang

by Harris Tobias


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