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Supermanís Jewish Mother
The man of steel was tired and hungry. He had had a tough day. He’d foiled a plot by the nefarious Doctor Demento to turn the world’s concrete into something resembling cottage cheese. If successful the crumbling cities and dams would have killed millions and left the earth a shambles. He was tired and filthy and covered with the slimy stuff.
He had sense enough to come in the back door. His mother was in the kitchen cooking. She took one look at him and hollered, “Stop right there. You are not coming into my clean kitchen looking like that.” She lowered her wooden spoon at him and glowered. Superman stopped short. “Take off those boots and that filthy costume. I swear to God, Clark, you look like you were raised by gypsies. Leave your filthy things outside. I’ll put them in the laundry. And while you’re out there how about hosing yourself down. What is that stuff anyway?”
Superman took off his cape and folded his things on the back porch and went to hose himself clean while his mother went for the laundry basket. She muttered about how little respect he showed her and how she worked from morning to night to keep their house clean. She went on and on in this vein ignoring her son’s stammering apologies. “Oh sure you’re sorry. You’ll really be sorry when I’m dead. Well don’t just stand there in your underwear, come to the table. And what did I tell you about slouching? Your lunch has been ready for an hour. Your soup is probably cold but it’s your own fault.”
Superman sat down to his cold soup in his wet underwear and muttered, “Sorry, Ma.”
micheledutcher - Big Bang - like the Big Bang Theory (both a tv show and a physics theory). I referenced the Big Bang TV show at a social gathering recently and got blank stares...Wow! I'm so much of a nerd. My sons say I'm the 'new normal' - people who eek out every bit of knowledge on a subject before moving on. First time in my life anyone ever called me normal - kind of nice to finally be normal in my own way.
r.tornello - there are plenty of essays in the comic book world on related subjects especially regarding the authors. Ss far as his Jewish mother schtick goes, it's just a change of 2ndary character for a typical set up, see BIG BANG.
micheledutcher - I don't know if Jewish mothers are like this for real or not - but it does make a funny story. Personally, I've never been good at dishing out guilt *sigh*. Was Superman's guardian in the comics Jewish? - come on, Nerds out there...what religious training did Superman have really? any?
r.tornello - the EL in Semetic languages is GOD. The story could be NY Italian too.
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