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by Richard Tornello


by Richard Tornello

The Ransom Of The Red Chief


Rick Tornello


The Village idiot Press © 2017



In the sky oh way up high

Away from the fracas, they can kiss his ass.

He’s the president, and he has precedent

Tricky Dick didn’t have the balls

The Red Chief he’s got moxie, he’s got the money, he’s got it all.

He knows, he’s sure, he’s right, he knows, the world he’ll floor,

This is his worldwide victory tour.

Out among the leaders, designed to give him creed

Fill his ego, and satisfy his deep-seated need.


AF One approaches the lands

Where memories span centuries

Where being thrown under the camel reviled

And ones reputation sullied? Revenge cultivated

No matter the religion the political region

his actions have good will effaced.

Among all the political factions, feel this high treason

It must be addressed, it must be erased.


In a meeting among allies or so it’s believed

Where plans have been made…

For a jumble of confusion, and so contrived

and where the security… is heavily compromised…




An anomaly on the radar screen

Its blank its empty no where to be seen

Scramble the escorts, but they’ve be diverted

The signals are crossed and the data perverted.

How can this be? Our president gone disappeared in thin air?

No missile track besides, that jet is protected

No distress call besides multi communication spectrum injected 


Both you and I know and this is a fact

The big fat man in a big fat jet

His orange and red, and its big blue and white

gone from our vision?

gone from our sight?

Would be most difficult to wrap, or move unseen

most difficult to hide, gone from our sight?


The world is transfixed

Pence, Ryan and McConnell

Swill the drinks mixed.

No impeachment is necessary, no legal to call.

And what odes will be written.

The past is forgotten, their agenda’s so rotten.


But their public words uttered

Oh no, of course do not show.

Secret enclave of the political slaves

Sworn to secrecy, keeps the public at bay.


Condemnation, excoriation, the normal political lies

Get the marines, the navy and of course the FBI.

Who did this deed so rotten so dastardly?

We’ll kill them five times and we’ll catch them we will.

And GITMO will be a holiday to what we serve them as hell.

We’ll … what the…

What all this?


In all the world papers a full-page ad

Big Red and plane on full display,

Demands forthwith and done right away:


 $10 trillion bit coins ransom for this man and the plane.

We’ve got it hidden on another dimensional frame.

We’re the alien pirates; we’re the alien host.

Pay us in methods that can’t be traced back

To our sleeper cells here hidden our boast

So hidden that you’ll never back hack.


We’ll give you some time to gather the coin

But not too much friends.

So make quick you don’t have much time.

We’ve got other planets to pirate,

Other planets to bind.


But nothing is done.

Nothing is done

The world’s gone catatonic

Weeks go by and there is no tonic.

Butt our congress of fools doesn’t hesitate

Invokes the 25th amendment,

Let him rot is the not so secret sentiment.

No payments are made; the military is stayed


All that we hear:

How can we discover where he’s been waylaid?

They’re aliens man!

He’s not even here.

He’s in another dimension of twilight we fear.

He’s gone from our world let’s get on with our careers.


A note is passed to the UN one dark night.

A relief, to the planet, no world war fights.

And soon thereafter and following the clues,

He’s found alive, watered,

zip tied and of course,

well fed and blue.


The crew and the jet in a desert well hid

Are fine but confused, their memories dead.

But tattooed to his forehead in red letters read:


You can keep him. He’s a bore,

A fraud

and not worth the score.

The cost to your sanity your lives, and what’s more

If this is your choice

of world leadership

Then the comedy following is worth letting you slip.






2017-09-17 21:22:39
Sidewinder4 - Does this mean that it's alright to submit poetry to Quantum Muse? Jim Gardner

2017-09-15 16:35:06
micheledutcher - I thought this was hilarious and the twist was spot on. Thanks for the laugh.

2017-09-13 08:51:42
That has been mentioned more than once, Thanks

2017-09-12 16:23:09
GordonRowlinson - OHenry would be proud.

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by Richard Tornello

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